


How Evil Masterminds Pass Their Time

by OceanSpray5



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Gen, Hawkmoth is a shipper, Mostly crack fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 14:01:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6807934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OceanSpray5/pseuds/OceanSpray5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look into Hawkmoth’s daily life when he’s not off akumatizing people to steal Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Evil Masterminds Pass Their Time

**Author's Note:**

> So here it is. (I have no idea how to be funny while writing, or funny in general, so pretend this made you cry tears of laughter okay ?). Leave reviews.

Being Hawkmoth was tiring. It wasn’t the stress of having to control over emotional teenagers. Thinking about it Hawkmoth had no idea why he kept choosing teenagers for capturing the Miraculous. They obviously had little respect for his authority (or any other adult’s for that matter). They thought they knew what they were doing and outright disobeyed his orders. In the end they got what they wanted, once Ladybug freed them they felt loads better having destressed themselves and Hawkmoth was left pinching the bridgr of his nose and shaking his head while angrily cursing Ladybug and Chat Noir while yelling his own variation of ‘Curse You Perry The Platypus’ in a far more dignified manner than Doofensmirtz. (Sue him if he looked to other cartoonish evil masterminds to get his creative villainous juices flowing).

That only took a small portion of his time though. A large portion of it went into _finding_ the akuma’s victim so obviously for that he had to spy on the population of Paris (within reason of course. Hawkmoth was nothing if not respectful of people’s boundaries). Due to that he never took advantage of mentally ill people knowing they were more prone to guilt than anyone else and hence would probably not recover as easily. 

His ‘stalking’ (observing in his mind) led to him becoming unnecessarily fond of civilians which he got very annoyed at (and would never admit) but it also became easily tiring at the obliviousness of his favorite civilians. The kwami’s protection prevented anyone from finding out Ladybug and Chat Noir’s identity so instead of searching for those he began searching for interesting people. This often led to him shaking his head and moaning in exasperation as once again two oblivious idiots made things more complicated than possible.  

When his son started middle school Hawkmoth was slightly guilty of spying on him. He felt a pang of guilt at seeing his enthusiasm of going and making new friends. That was when he saw the first interaction between his son and one Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Their first meeting wasn’t the best and Gabriel winced and frowned as he saw his son take the blame for young miss Bourgeois’ antics. Obviously there was some bad blood between the two teens. The twin tailed girl proceeded to not recognize his famous son and treat him like anyone else ( _then again_ , Gabriel mused, _she doesn't really seem to care for miss Bourgeois’ status either_ ).

His son was devastated. He swiftly tried to apologize but the blue eyed girl seemed to have none of it. He took his seat dejected and quickly befriended a boy with headphones slung over his neck. Hawkmoth was apprehensive at best. He didn’t see anything wrong with the boy then again, he was very overprotective of Adrien.

His attention was taken away when he saw Ivan’s mood turn sour again and Ladybug and Chat Noir reappeared to take care of the mess. Now Hawkmoth hadn’t expected getting the Miraculous to be easy, but it certainly put him in the dumps when the chance of getting them slipped right through his fingers. He couldn’t help but feel a twinge of satisfaction for Ivan and Mylene though. (Another thing he wouldn’t admit, they were cute together).

His attention went back to his son hoping he was having a better day than Hawkmoth himself. Out of nowhere the sky turned gray by mid afternoon and it started to rain His son came out with his black umbrella (thankfully Adrien had checked the forecast before leaving the house) and came to stand next to the twin tailed girl who was waiting for the rain to stop. The rest of the school was empty. They had probably stayed behind for some reason or another.

“I really was trying to get that gum of your seat. It’s true you know. I’ve never been to public school or had any friends. This whole this is kind of new for me.”

Gabriel looked with a twinge of pride of raising his son right (mostly he was screaming _‘What are you doing boy you’ll get a cold !’_ ) as he offered his umbrella to the girl who was staring back at him with wide blue eyes. Something had changed in them. She nervously took the umbrella and started to stutter as she agreed to seeing him again tomorrow.

“Ugh why am I stuttering so much ?”

Gabriel didn’t know what to feel. Obviously _he_ knew why the baker’s daughter was stuttering. She didn’t seem like a bad match for Adrien. Perhaps he could go talk to Adrien about proper protocol of courting a girl this evening. Then he stopped. Adrien didn’t know he was ~~spying~~ observing him all that day. At the moment it seemed his son only saw her as a friend. Hawkmoth felt another stab of guilt at his son’s awed words as he walked towards the car. (”A friend !”). Perhaps he had been a tad over protective than it was necessary.

* * *

It quickly turned out he was right. Marinette had a crush on Adrien and thankfully it wasn’t because his son was famous. This was the right kind of girl for his son. She also loved fashion which was always a good thing in the evil (but not so evil) mastermind’s mind. Unfortunately she couldn’t talk to him. And Adrien was too dense to figure out why. Nooroo greatly agreed and the platinum blonde man was glad someone agreed those two were dense as bricks when it came to each other. He found himself muttering words of encouragement to the teens practically bouncing when they had an interaction only to be let down when they didn’t move any further than their awkward friendship.

It wasn’t just them too. Seeing Ladybug and Chat Noir interact didn’t make him dislike them less. Contrary to popular belief he didn’t hate them at all. He just wanted their Miraculous to bring back his wife. (”Oh my love, I’m sure you’d approve of that Dupain-Cheng girl. I wish you were here to talk sense into our son.”) Of course he may have gotten a soft spot for them and begun shipping them as well. Most of the time between when they were fighting akumas and during patrols he groaned at Ladybug and her constant dismissal of Chat’s obvious affections. 

Between the two couples, Gabriel found himself rooting for them more than being evil as the days went on. 

“YES ! Marinette speak. Oh four words. Nooroo write down today’s date. She finally broke her three word stuttering record !” His excitement was visible as the purple kwami yelled Hallelujah and went to the giant wall of ‘Ship Progress’ and quickly wrote the date and Marinette’s accomplishment.

“Ladybug must you insist on the identity thing he obvious’y wants to get to know you better. Give him a chance !”

“A gaming tournament. This is it Nooroo. They will become friends and win and as soon as they win Adrien will hug her and that will lead to them getting married.”

“Did you see that ? She gave him her bracelet. Bring me my designs Nooroo ! I need to start on the wedding dress. Do you suppose she’d want me to design it. She is fond of fashion. I’ll just do Adrien’s suit instead.”  

Needless to say the middle aged man was very disappointed. (”No Adrien don’t just giver her your controller. Ask her out too !”)

“Dark Cupid _why oh WHY_ couldn’t you have waited for Chat to confess. I need better candidates for my akumas.”

“On second thought ! Excellent work Dark Cupid. They finally had the True Love’s Kiss. Now if only he could remember. Also _Curse you Ladybug and Chat Noir_.”

That day was bittersweet for the watching shipper who was too stubborn to admit he enjoyed watching his ships interact.

“Adrien you idiot _why_ would you set up _your best friend_ with her. You like her ? You can’t fool your own father. Nooroo bring me a painkiller my son has achieved a new level of density I didn’t think was possible.”

“Chat make a bigger effort. Aren’t cats supposed to be sly ? Extract information and woo her you bar of steel !”

“Now Adrien be a good boy and put those Chinese lessons to use. It’s always a good idea to get tight with her family. I can sense her Great Uncle approves.”

“Princess ? Chat Noir you can’t just call her a princess what about Ladybug ? Ugh…Nooroo add Marichat to the ship wall.”

“Honestly son ? You have a perfectly good girl sitting behind you in class every day why are you so invested in Ladybug just because you shared eye contact once for three seconds ?”

“Adrien we do not simply ignore voice mails when we get them ! All this drama would have been over if you had read it before Marinette stole your phone.”

“Chat the way to your Lady’s heart is obviously not through sub par puns. Up your game. Although that last one was good. I need to save that one for later.”

“Finally Mylene and Ivan are canon but Chloe must you ruin my ship again ?”

“Ladybug he is freezing. _Hug him tighter !_ ” 

“Marinette…Adrien ! Ughh ! You two are worse than Chat Noir and Ladybug.”

Of course LadyNoir and Adrienette were his OTPs. If all else failed he’d set up his son and (hopefully if all went well and he wouldn’t have to use Plan B, his daughter in law) with Paris’ superheroes (after getting their Miraculous of course).

Needless to say watching them interact was incredibly stressful. The idiotic oblivious teens just didn’t understand and it seemed his own son didn’t even know he had a squish (“It will develop into more in time Master.”) on the girl behind him.

So to de-stress himself Hawkmoth often searched for new people to ~~stalk~~ _observe,_  those who he would definitely _not_ ship. (That plan didn’t last long).

“Mary you have a perfectly good guy crushing on you. _Wake Up and look at him pining for you !_ ”

“Kim, Miss Bourgeois is the worst person to like. And why would you when Alix Kubdel is so much better a match for you ?”

“Nathanael you had better not ruin my son’s future. I’ll set you up with Chloe. Both of you are ruining my ship.”

**_Sponge-Bob Narrator : (A few weeks later)_ **

“I didn’t mean literally ! Ugh now Chloe get off your high horse and notice the tomato. I’m having a word with your father about how he’s raising you. _Adrien isn’t interested in you !_ ”

“Felix ! Notice Bridgette, do you not notice her at all ? She is such a sweet girl now _turn around_ ! Look at her smile and the way she’s so nice even though your the embodiment of grumpy cat.”

“Nino what happened to wing-manning my son ? I’m beginning to like you but Alya is so much better at wing-womanni- Yes Nooroo I’m aware those are not real words but still ! Nino be useful and use your dates with Alya to set up my son and future daughter in law.”

“Curse myself I just had to interrupt the movie date. Alas the Miraculous wait for no one.”

Of course everyone including Ladybug and Chat Noir thought he spent all day in his lair brooding. And never would he reveal his dark secrets (until of course his wife came back and he would get her to jump on the ‘shipping train’ as the teens called it.)

Obviously it was below his dignity as Gabriel Agreste, World renowned fashion designer or as Hawkmoth, Villain of Paris (He just want’s his wife back. They’re the real OTP, obviously), to say he was so interested in the love lives of teenagers. But he was still like a father to all of those he watched albeit a ~~stalkery~~  observational one. 

He couldn’t wait to bring his wife back though. Once he was back in touch with his family life with his son he would make sure that Marinette and her parents got invited to dinner. (He’d lock up Chat Noir and Ladybug once he had their Miraculous in a closet if he would have to).

Or maybe, once he stopped using his powers to create super-villains he’d grant some powers to someone _who wasn’t_ an overemotional teenager and could get the job done and finally put an end to all this pain and drama they got themselves into.

 _Mon Dieu !_ These teenagers were a handful.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to add as many ships as possible and also yes you did not read wrong Felix and Bridgette did make a cameo. (Let’s pretend they are normal people and not superheroes or related to Adrien and Marinette, okay ? I just used those surnames in the tags because it was necessary. In this AU/UA they are not realted at all).
> 
> Also Hawkmoth doesn’t know that his son and Marinette are LB and CN so he ships them separately and all in a love square. (Marichat and Ladrien lowkey). As you can probably tell, its painful for him.


End file.
